America's New Drug of Choice?

About seven hours ago, at approximately 6:15 pm, I partook of my first Red Bull.

Note to self: NEVER drink this stuff after, let's say, NOON!

Red Bull gives you "wings"...oh, that must be code for freaking INSOMNIA...not to mention Restless Leg Syndrome (the three dogs that share my bed are pretty pissed off right now) and Restless Mind Syndrome (which is why I'm typing this freaking blog post at one-freaking-thirty in the morning)!

So THIS is the new drug of choice for millions of Americans. Pure speed delivered in a petite pop-top can it is. I already see myself rooting around in the car at sunrise...looking for the remaining half a can to pour over ice...my fix for the day. Otherwise, I fear I will have to seek out my dealer, a mysterious man of middle eastern descent, who owns the gas station down the street...just to get through the day? Where will this vicious cycle end?

My mind is racing and formulating my next million-dollar idea (that, like all the others, will never come to fruition): the company that created this cocaine in a can needs to develop an antidote. I'll even help them out a little bit here...perhaps the product name should be "Black Bear"... the logo could be something like a bear in hibernation...which alludes to SLEEP...which sounds pretty dang phenomenal to me at this moment.

Tomorrow should be an interesting day...perhaps I will crash and burn...perhaps I will down the rest of the can and proceed to clean every square inch of my 3,500 square foot home (now THAT would be productive) and later whoop some serious butt on the racquetball court (now THAT would be awesome)...at THIS MOMENT HOWEVER, I am seriously regretting my foray into this new world of energy drinks...

Well, it's back to the bed for me...for sure the dogs would prefer I take the couch.